Parting thoughts

Maybe that is life’s biggest gift to you.
You never know when it’s the last time – the last time of looking at someone right into their eyes and sensing the little grins forming on both your faces because you understood the inside joke you’ve thought to yourself for years now, relieved that he gets it too.
You don’t know the kiss and the last wave to each other – days before its over.
The last time you lay on your sides – spent and tracing each other’s faces taking in the mere fact that you exist together at that moment in time – noticing birthmarks and scars and recalling little stories about them. Baring your fears and soul – grateful, to be listened to.
Life doesn’t tell you it’s the last time when your toes touch and you ligthly touch the crinkle on the corners of his eyes while he laughs.
Life spares you the horror of knowing.
Of how you would live the coming weeks and months and years searching for his face – in crowds he couldn’t possibly be.
Of looking at someone and suddenly missing the last laugh you had together wishing you knew – maybe you would have tried harder, have planned a parting speech and just maybe, you would have somehow made peace with it before it really was over.
Life spares you the pre-separation anxiety,  even though you sense it coming while you sit in the sun with your lattes exchanging insignificant details about your days. In the sparks missing from your conversations and unread texts while you made excuses on their behalf.
Life lets you smile and cry and fight like you have all the time in the world with each other.
In it’s infinite kindness, life spares you the pain.
Instead, it creeps up on you – all at once, like a wave hitting your face leaving you drenched but atleast it wasn’t pouring all along.