When everything was lost, I watched.I watched through my haze of inability and crippled self – the smile of a friend. The crinkle in the corners of his eyes as his brain processed in amazement the beauty of the sun going down over the valley. His face breaking into a smile.I watched another friend stand …
On old friends and my fear of the new
I struggle with separation With letting go and moving on and forgetting things and hoping for new beginnings I hate the first hellos and goodbyes and the heartfelt hugs I’m supposed to give someone I’ve just met And I’m terrible at cracking jokes and telling compelling stories without getting too excited about them. I always …
List of things that will keep you alive when everything feels like death
Seinfeld. All 9 seasons of it. Water. Short stories. Or blogs. Friends. Friends who choose you despite inconveniences and distance and across time zonesFriends, who live up to the word and stay Laundry. Dig up clothes from a lifetime ago and wash. Clean it all out. And then dry them and fold them into neatly …
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On people
For the remainder of my existenceI wish to meet "non stubborn" peopleThe ones a little rough around the edgesAnd kindness in their heartsI wish to see warm smiles and easy eyesPeople who would cry with me when tragedy strikesBut when I spill tea and call me a goofI wish to meet people who see that …
On waiting
I wait for death like most people wait for true loveWith a lifetime of longing for a moment-long embraceLucid dreams of what it would be likeAnd plans, grand elaborate plans for the tiny fraction of a second when we finally meet I imagine death to be the ultimate second chanceThe (real) point of letting go …
Funeral planning and other thoughts
How do you measure love?Is it the number of times I pick up my pieces - little bits bouncing off the just cleaned floorWe’ve always been into drama that wayOr the count of times I hit the wall you’ve put up – there are no doors or windows, except for the times your eyes betray …
Parting thoughts
Maybe that is life's biggest gift to you.You never know when it's the last time - the last time of looking at someone right into their eyes and sensing the little grins forming on both your faces because you understood the inside joke you've thought to yourself for years now, relieved that he gets it …
My Whole Heart
I love you with my whole heart - all four chambersI think this while you snort away at something only you find humor inI glance at you - somewhat diagonally, and I try to recall how does the blood pump in and out reallyI love you with all the pure blood in my arteries and …
Word search
I do not understand love One that tells me to smile when I do not want toLove that expects me to accept that it's okay to hurt me because you love meYou see I knew someone who did that and I hated itIt’s the little thingsThings like the act of switching to higher decibels to …
Misfit Memoir
For someone who identifies so much as a misfitI really like things that fitI also hate how obvious this isWe all doClothes that flatter and wings that flutterWordplay that gives joyGrouped togetherFit makes everything betterLike the exact distance between the top of your head and minePerfectly angled when we need to communicateMid conversation acknowledgements – …
Griefscapes
My idea of grief ending had always been very visualI'd imagine it stepping out of my bodyDressed in grey flowy clothes that flutterMy griefA hazy weaker version of meTranslucent with the possibilities of joyIn all it it's gloryLeaving me with hope and sunshinePretty clothes, good hairAnd some way to get sleep for more than two …
September
Like damp sand and broken promisesLike being stuck with strangers in an empty roomDark circles from all those tearsAnd a sense of no controlFeet sinking into mud I thought was dry nowFor I trusted your sunlight few minutes too soonShedding trees and angry wavesSongs in my head I want to replaceFailures from the year beforeWhen …
To the stranger across the room
When you let me go You should have really let me go I wish you wouldn't do that thing you just did Stopped and glanced at me After you said something funny to check if it was amusing enough It was But what good would it do to my vanity if I let you have …
Thank you note
Craning my neck, I look back to my earliest daysWas it that long ago ?I remember you making me stand on the sofaOn my third birthday I like to thinkMe in a white dress with blue polka dotsYou in white as everI had questions So many of themWhy white I used to ask youAnd you …
Valentine day thoughts
Interesting how the two most devastating things in life start with the same two letters and are the exact same length - loss. And love.
Cliffside musings
Do you sometimes associate feelings with words ?Yes I hear how it sounds Feelings are just other wordsHow do you "feel" words about other words Imagine standing alone on a cliff Watching the sea below( No you don't jumpKind of loses the point of this narrative if you do )It's amazing how everyone we know …
Weekend plans
The dried chai stains on the stove I plan on scrubbing off Slight cobwebs on my kitchen ceiling A balcony I want to clear the clutter from One cane chair, borrowed books and sunlight I want to make room for The hundreds of movies I plan to watch and music Music stored in my messages …
Thoughts over a smoke
I want you to fade away Like the smoke that I blow out of my nostrils and mouth towards the stratosphere High, too high to see with the naked eye - it escapes I make up loops inside my head One, then another and another and another Like smoke rings that keep going up in …
Love
Love cracked and chipped offLike pieces of a broken potThe one we made for art class when we were sixWe stuck little things to it, fabric painted all overLike tiny pieces of glassLove fell and scattered across the floorAnd like withered paint, it came off in my handsIn little sheetsCorroded by the air we breatheIt …
Rendezvous
I hear youSpeaking to me from across the tableWhile my inner monologue drowns your voiceYou seem to be talking about some cousin of yoursAnd something about cross country callsMac lipstickBritish foods and FacebookYou tell me about the one time your mother sent you out for biscuitsThere were guests in the houseWait, or was it the …
Tell me, would you ?
When do you stop asking questions about someoneDoes anyone really know ?I have been wondering about youThe last few days, months and yearsAsking you questionsHundreds of themLike it's important to me somehowTo knowTo understandEverything that matters to you And strange little things that don'tI read upLearn new things everyday to keep upThere is just so much …
Walking your ruins
You felt like a wrecked old house todayBroken and full of storiesStories I want to pick and read out loudLike the wasted floor your heart isFragile, eggshells strewn all across You can't hold things anymoreI fear it will crack if I put my foot downJust for a secondEven for a secondYour doors, worn-outThey let everyone …
Hold me close
One of these daysHold me like I'm yoursSoftly but firmlyLace your fingers with mine and let's breathe together Look me in the eye and show meShow me your dreamsPlay with my hair while I listen to your heart and themLet me trace the scars - on your back and through your memoriesI'll be gentle, I …
Captions
Why don't people come with instruction manualsI thinkAnnoyed for the millionth time in a dayI need to know your triggersWhat makes you smileWhen do you fallI feel the need to know it allWhy wouldn't you tell me I keep wonderingI know I'd follow them to the TEven though I am the worst at following instructionsFor …
Conversations pt 1
I remember when I told you about the KindleThe first time I had some moneyReal money Not bits and pieces I saved over the monthsI can have thousands of books in my hands Papa All at once I saidYou listened wide eyed, surprisedAs if it was the most amazing thing you have heard in yearsYou …
Lets talk about my sugar addiction
I just spent daysForcing myself to not wantTrying to break awayFrom things that aren't, never were and never will beBurying possibilitiesKilling the curious cat of what it would be likeNot thinking about the road not taken - which really is just easier said than doneTurns out, not my cup of tea, its not.Not a big deal, …
Our stories in time
I know we have been telling storiesStories about things that wereAnd some that were notTaking these walks togetherTo the beginning of time where it all began and changed our worldsTo moments where everything stood stillAnd to ones when it didn't make any sense at allWhen did we start really ?Peeping through these windows togetherLooking backImagining …
She loved the ocean
She had always loved the oceanEven as a childPapa clicked pictures of her standing near the water, just close enough till her feet touched that first waveBut that was her - she would run down to the waterArms spread wideAnd then stop - right where the waves beganHe used to lift her up to touch …
Her
-------------- I -------------------The steps I retraceThe mistakes I remember in a dazeMemories trapped and sealed in closed jarsAll those words that stain the walls of my brainOf loss and regretsTears that never did well downShallow quivers in my voice they could not tellAnd shaky hands as I tried to push aheadDefinitions are hardFor so long …
Of worlds and other things
I glance at you from across the roomHow you move your hands while speakingChuckle when you think it's exciting The idea, can't really hear what you're sayingI sense the constant ticking you haveWhen you need something to doAs you skim through news on your phoneOr at some random thing you decide to lookThe times you …
Letting you go
That feelingLike hitting a wall head on, blindfoldedClaustrophobicInside my own mindHolding my breath, as if it makes me weightlessLike waves crashing onto meWhen I don't have a life-jacket onI scramble around for a hand to holdAfter all, I love the ocean and the wavesThey could never be the end of me, could they ? - …
Your things
So many times in a dayI come across your things A word you said somedayA phrase you think is funny and overly useAn act of someone unaware I noticeAnd I remember how you did the sameWhile I gathered memories along the waySo many times in a dayWhile I drift through all these people I seeBlank …
Reasons I cannot love you
I think of you in empty spacesWhen I'm alone and there's no one in sightI close my eyes and sighNot because I wish your presence You're in my mind - and in between the creases of my thoughtsI sigh, as I gently run my fingers across themFor a moment thereIt's just me and all of …
I want to call it a Workblog but it isn’t
A first job is like the first love affair...it may have drained the life off you but you fondly remember it for being that first experience of something new, which would stay with you forever.I just quit my first job. By just I mean a few months back..I've started working elsewhere, with different people. In …
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Lifehack v 25:135
I want to write. I plan every single day to make a note of all those various little thoughts whizzing around in my head and perhaps make sense out of them, all of them, or at least a few of them. Like the 10 year old who was doing amazing dance moves the other day, …
A matter of Moms !!!
Every generation is different. We try to break free of that umbilical bond and try to create and be something new, different and hopefully better. Nothing surprising or new, change is important.I am a 90's kid. Which means when I grew up, I still had those evenings when you played kho-kho in some open field every evening. …
The "Other" Guy
I am a girl. The statement comes with a lot of overhead and underlying conclusions. But I'm just interested in writing about basic human emotions and interactions so lets focus here. All my life and in the lives of my girlfriends, well most of them, I have noticed one constant character..people change but the character remains, always. I …
The beginning of happy endings..
Its new year..for me and a lot of other people around me in this joyful part of the world. There's this thing about new years..you think you are grown-up, busy and such things do not really matter to you because you work for an American company and you dont even get a holiday..but somewhere , at the …
Rotten Peaches Poetry 