Even as a child
Papa clicked pictures of her standing near the water, just close enough till her feet touched that first wave
But that was her – she would run down to the water
Arms spread wide
And then stop – right where the waves began
He used to lift her up to touch her toes to the water some days
But that was all she did – touch the water.
All these years of loving the ocean and that was just as far as she ever went
She dreamt of listening to the sound of the waves at night though
For the ocean always felt like a long lost friend
The ocean always did understand
He came from somewhere in the waves
Actually no
He just appeared out of nowhere
Playing and laughing in the water
As she watched from the shore
It was long before their eyes even met and they acknowledged each other
She watched from the shore as he swam his days away
Do you know that feeling when you see something or someone every day ?
Like that something just mingles into your life ?
He mingled into hers – the ocean was not just the ocean anymore
It now was him and it
Stupid right ?
But like a wallflower, he fit right in
She loved the ocean still
She stood on the shore still
She looked at him as a part of her ocean still
She doesn’t remember when and how and why exactly
She decided to step into the water one day
Crazy she told herself
But she did
Her ocean was not just the water alone anymore anyway
He smiled and reached out
As he sensed all her fears and hesitation
But he held out his hand
Showed her where her feet should land
It was the biggest moment of her life
As she merged into this vastness of her ocean and him and everything around her
She was ecstatic and for the longest time, she couldn’t stop smiling.
Huh, this is what happiness feels like – she thought
They walked into the ocean everyday
She wanted to make up for all that missing time she spent on the shore
And him, he just was there – holding her hand, telling her its okay to move ahead some more
They reached what felt like center of the waves that night
She was skeptical, he confident
But she had never wandered into the water at night before
And he showed her the moon and promised her it
So they walked right in, risking so much
Talking about everything and nothing
And in one of those moments
You know how moments are – they come and go
While she was telling him about this story of pirates she read somewhere
She looked around and he wasn’t there anymore
Just like the day he came out of nowhere
He disappeared, into the water and the darkness
She stood still
Waiting for him to be back
Scared she was, it was cold she realized as she shivered
But she waited nonetheless
Minutes turned to hours and her feet were numb
Inside, her waves were crashing louder than the ones outside
But she waited still
In the cold and dark ocean, hair dripping with salt water
She waited
As the sun rose next day
She woke up with faint recollections of the night before
Of the dark waters and the moon and herself
She felt this strange feeling
This emptiness in her chest
As if someone has taken away something
Something she didn’t know she had in the first place
She panicked, cried, screamed out his name
The tears wouldn’t stop and her face was drenched in salt water again
Only this time there was this nudging pain as well
Pain she could feel in her ribs and bones
That strained her breathing and made every minute so hard
Pain that they have now drifted apart
This is what loss feels like, she thought that day
She never went back to the ocean again.
