Conversations pt 1

I remember when I told you about the Kindle
The first time I had some money
Real money
Not bits and pieces I saved over the months
I can have thousands of books in my hands Papa
All at once I said
You listened wide eyed, surprised
As if it was the most amazing thing you have heard in years

You kept following up in the months that came
Did you get it yet – you’d ask every few days
I guess it made you happy
After all the books you had bought me over the years
And the bookstore trips we took together
Maybe you knew that this one habit I held on to because of you

Unlike everything else

I do this – I always let go
And of course, the curiosity – like a child you were.

It just never was the right time or reason
Until one day you left
And suddenly, in one single moment
I realized that you don’t undo time
And reasons are so easy to unlearn

It has been a while
I got my Kindle and a few hundred books now Papa

Digital, paperbacks – I own a lot
Only now I don’t know anyone who’d care as much
No one who would go through them as if it’s the most important thing in the world

What I read

What kind of person I’m going to be

Interest is a very private emotion and so rarely selfless

Maybe that was the thing about you 

You listened to me every time you could 

On all of my best days

When I was happy and had so much to say
But also

Especially 

On bad days when I struggled
Picking up pieces
Keeping it together
You held my hand and made sure I stood
You tried with me when no one else would