Tell me, would you ?

When do you stop asking questions about someone
Does anyone really know ?
I have been wondering about you
The last few days, months and years
Asking you questions
Hundreds of them
Like it’s important to me somehow
To know
To understand
Everything that matters to you 

And strange little things that don’t
I read up
Learn new things everyday to keep up
There is just so much
It’s a lonely feeling

Not the bad kind

Just lonely in a way I can’t explain

I listen to you everyday

And store your answers

Neatly
Like stacks of crisp dry clothes in my brain
Layers of them
Would I use them any day ?
Boxes after boxes
Next to each other
I arrange your chaos in my order

When do I stop
At the end of summer drenched in a sudden spell of rainfall
One autumn evening when I burn them all
Or on the winter night when the cold gets too hard to bear
And I curl up with someone near
Someone who isn’t you

My eyes, still looking for you everywhere

I need you to tell me

Tell me when to stop

To stop asking about your day

And reasons you have to stay away
Tell me when I have known enough
Enough to let go
Enough to not be bothered by the boxes
I think I’ll keep the first two though

You need to tell me when I have
Just enough to hold on to
On the cold winter night
I don’t want to hold anyone else you see

Maybe some other day

Just not right now, not today